Many of my regular readers are quite familiar with my love of all things horror. People who know me better know of my proclivity for pornography. X-rated films that combine elements of both hold a very special place in my heart. The XXXorcist, a burlesque of the classic The Exorcist, is no exception is this department, combining one of my favorite horror films of all time with the kinky greatness of high quality smut. The creators of this treasure are the same folks responsible for the AVN award winning Re-Penetrator, so you know you’re dealing with some true horror-core porn masters.

“FUCK ME JESUS!” screams eighteen year-old Regan Teresa MacFeel (Joanna Angel). While this would seem downright blasphemous to any less determined man, to Father Merkin (Tommy Pistol) this is a call to arms. And fuck her he does.
The movie begins with Mrs. MacFeel (Kylee Kross) summoning Father Merkin to her Georgetown home. Her beautiful daughter Regan is in the thrall of a horrible demonic entity. It is Father Merkin’s conclusion that the only way to rid this innocent girl of the entity that possesses her is with the Rite of Sexorcism.
What does this involve? We start off with a male/female scene between Regan and Merkin that includes a sloppy green vomit blowjob and some hard-core multi-positional intercourse. But just at the crucial moment, he is blasted back against the wall by another burst of the demonic slime, this one emanating from Regan’s vagina.

The good Father is still lying prone when Mrs. MacFeel comes to investigate. This leads to one of the hottest scenes in the whole film. As Mrs. MacFeel attempts to stop Regan from masturbating with a crucifix, the devil overtakes her as well. We are then treated to a little lesbian manual manipulation and some serious tongue work.

When Merkin finally comes to, he realizes that he now has two sex-crazed succubi to deal with. Brandishing his blessed dildo, bearing the image of the Virgin Mary, he leaps into the fray, only to be overpowered by the women. A threesome ensues that looks like a page from the Kama Sutra; face sitting, reverse cowgirl, toys, you name it.

So far, none of this has dislodged the demon inside young Regan, and upon re-reading the text, Father Merkin discovers why. In order to be successful, ALL ORIFICES MUST BE PENETRATED. The following ten plus minutes could be subtitled ‘Regan’s Anal Adventure’ as Merkin thoroughly does his duty.
Alas, all good things must come to an end. The only way to finally free her is with the Holy Triumvirate of Phalli (the Virgin Mary dildo mentioned above reappears with two friends). Yes friends, this is exactly what it sounds like! But wait! As an added bonus, you the viewer get to choose between three different endings; good, sad, or fucked up.

The production values for this feature were top-notch, three cheers for Doug Sakmann and crew. Although there was quite a bit of gore and heavy make-up (both of which were masterfully done by Josh Potter and Monster In My Closet), these effects in no way detracted from the attractiveness of the stars or the sincerity of the sex scenes.

While the cast of most porn films feature ugly leading men and plasticine leading ladies, Joanna and Kylee are approachable alternative vixens that will have you running to the bathroom to ‘relieve tension’. Tommy isn’t your average male porn star. He is well groomed, and doesn’t look like he just stepped out of a time warp from 1979. No Ron Jeremy moustache on this guy! He is like a good-looking buddy, a lucky bastard who is willing to let you share in his fun. Bearing this in mind, it’s easy to see why the sex seems so effortless and unrehearsed. The actors appear to actually enjoy one another instead of just going through the motions like so much other X-rated fare.

Burning Angel makes excellent use of the DVD format for their release of this flick. Disc One contains the feature, complete with choose your own ending, and four separate commentary tracks. Disc Two is filled with behind the scenes features (a look at X-rated films that most of us never get to witness), a photo gallery, trailers, and two easter eggs. Together these make for what is quite possibly the best porno I’ve ever watched.
If you’re tired of stale pornography that rips off horror culture, or b-movies that don’t go all the way, The XXXorcist is the way to go. A perfect melding of everything great in life…monsters, gore, and of course hot sex.